 |
"If
you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly"
|
|
"If
they try to rush me, I always say, I've only got one other
speed and it's slower"
|
|
"It
is sweet to know there is an eye will mark our coming, and
look brighter when we come"
|
|
"God
could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers" |
|
"Friendship
is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies" |
|
"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" |
|
"Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics" |
|
"Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position" |
|
"Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure" |
|
"A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make" |
|
"Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it" |
|
"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence" |
|
"Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking" |
|
"There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love" |
|
"Never decide to buy something while listening to the salesman" |
|
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died" |
|
"If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane" |
|
"Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut" |
|
"Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another" |
|
"One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette" |
|
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate" |
|
"Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans" |
|
"If you volunteer to do a task that nobody likes to do, you'll be expected to do it every time in the future" |
|
"If you have to travel on a Titanic, why not go first-class?" |
|
"Silence
is the most perfect expression of scorn"
|
|
"Behind
every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law" |
|
"The
greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without
losing heart" |
|
|
Girls are so complicated because........
|
|
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't
respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to
wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another man, you're not putting in
"quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it'snatural,
we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professesyou
are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking
advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you
lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men'stactics
for seduction
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of
flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they
are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
In short: So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful
...............WOMEN!................ |
|
